


Far Cry 5 Oneshots

by babygirlbey



Category: Far Cry 5
Genre: AU, Angst, Drabbles, F/F, F/M, Imagines, M/M, Romance, headcanons, one shots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-30
Updated: 2018-09-30
Packaged: 2019-07-20 14:10:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 4,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16138889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babygirlbey/pseuds/babygirlbey
Summary: Far Cry 5 headcanons, oneshots, Drabbles, etc.





	1. Chapter 1

John: For date night, John will go all out. I'm talking about Armani suit on  with RayBans, a thousand dollar bracelet from Cartier and a freshly trimmed beard. He would take you out to one of those nice restaurants where they have things like caviar, creamed salmon, and all that fancy shit on the menu. He would expect you to dress up all extravagant like him because you know he's about to be extra and take you around a bunch of fancy white people.

Jacob: Jacob hates going out on dates and being in public. He would rather much stay at home and cuddle up with you or take you deep into the woods to murder you and turn you into mystery meat. I'm just kidding, he loves to be up in the mountains alone and go on a nice little hike with his boo. The only time he'll go out in public to do something with his boo is of what you guys are doing involves being competitive. 

Joseph: Big daddy Joe loves poetry or anything to do with writing. You can tell he likes poetry by the way he talks. So for date night, Joseph would probably take his significant other out to poetry nights at small cafes around their home. Some nights he might even get up there on stage and surprise you with a poem he wrote for you, or the two of you would go up there together and do a poem for two voices together. 

Faith: I just imagine Faith being such a Californian and taking her significant other out to those Instagram worthy goods you always see on your explorer page. She loves walking the streets of LA and taking cliche pictures by and of Banksy's graffiti with you. She forces you to go to all the festivals and fairs that come to town and try out all different foods with her.


	2. During your pregnancy (Seeds, Sharky, F!deputy)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Headcanons on how the boys treat you and what they do when you’re pregnant!

John: Awwww John would be happy twenty-four seven during your pregnancy. Whatever you need he'll give it to you and he'll always talk to your baby bump, telling your little girl or boy how much he loves them. He'll go to the corner store at three in the morning for you if you're really craving something that bad, massage your feet when they're swollen, and run you hot baths to relax those sore muscles of yours. He does crazy shopping for the baby and buys everything he sees for babies when he goes to the store. He gets name brand stuff for his baby cause they have to look like money, like him, as soon as they come out the womb.

Joseph: Joseph would be so happy that you're growing round with his child. He'll ask you if you're okay all the time and do random things that you didn't even ask him to do, like bring you food you're craving, because he wants to make sure the pregnancy runs smooth and in order to do that he has to keep you happy. He's really nervous but he won't show it on his face when he's around you or tell you because he doesn't want you to be nervous as well. He'll sing to your baby bump every night and leave his hand on your stomach to make sure he feels it everytime the baby kicks. 

Jacob: Oh man, Jacob would put you on lockdown for the whole nine months you're pregnant. He doesn't want anything to happen to you or his child so he'll keep a close eye on you all the time and make sure you don't do anything stupid. He puts you on a DIET to make sure the baby comes out healthy as ever, but he gives you cheat days to indulge in your cravings. At night he likes to talk to your baby bump about his day as if the baby can understand him and is replying back. 

Sharky: Sharky finds it totally rad that you're pregnant with his child. This is his first child so he's has no idea how worried or not worried he should be. He's scared that he won't be a good enough father but you reassure him that he's going to be the best dad to ever walk the earth. It takes him a while for the fact that he's having a child, but when it does hit him he gets excited and can't wait for his baby to come. He boasts about it to everyone he talks to.


	3. During and after labor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m trying to write some MXM but I don’t know how to boy. I’ll be adding some GXG soon though.

Joseph: With Joseph, you would probably give natural birth or water birth. He would hire a midwife to make sure everything goes smoothly and be by your side the whole eight hours you're in labor. He would be asking the midwife a bunch of questions to make sure ever is going how it's supposed to be. When it's time for you to start pushing  he's right by your side holding your hand and whispering words of encouragement in your ears. He's ecstatic once the baby comes out. The midwife would let him take over and actually pull the baby out. He can't stop holding his child or gushing over their tiny features.

John: Oh man, John would be such a scary ass bitch in the delivery room. Because he let you indulge in all of your cravings and eat as much as you wanted to the baby would probably be so big that you would have to have a C-section. He's scared at first to even be in the same room as you while you're getting cut open, but feelings of joy would soon overcome him as he realizes his child will be here in thirty minutes or less. He would probably go behind the curtain too early and see them putting all your guts on the table, making him totally disgusted. Once the baby comes out, the both of you would be crying messes. The two of you can't believe you made a whole human being together so your emotions would be overwhelming. 

Jacob: Jacob would be like a goddamn drill Sargent in your delivery room. "Come on! Come on! You can do it, push out that next generation of the Seeds!" He would probably tell shit like that at you while you're pushing out your little nugget. He's seen blood and guts before, hell he ate a person, so a vagina with a head coming out of it does nothing to him. He would be hands on, doing as much as the doctors in the room. When the baby comes, he hogs it from everyone else and even has the baby sleep in his arms throughout the night. He can't wait to be involved in his child's life and be there for their first everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I take requests so if you want to send any submit them through my ask thingy on my tumblr: Holytrinitydeputies


	4. Arguing

John: Your arguments with John are really intense. You guys would start arguing over some petty shit but next thing you know one of John’s fine china plates is being flung halfway across the room. John would never lay a hand on you and you would never hit him, but the two of you tend to throw things just to dramatic. Your arguments usually end with you guys having rough sex. It’s very intense and pleasurable but the both of you still end up being a little bit mad at each other because you’re just that stubborn.

Jacob: When the two of you argue, it’s not really even an argument. Jacob eggs you on by asking questions like “Why are you mad at me?” “Have you ever considered it might be your fault?”, etc. It pisses you the fuck off while you’re arguing but afterwards you thank him because he allowed you to blow off a bunch of steam and get what you needed to say off your chest. 

Joseph: Big daddy Joseph is so calm during your arguments that it kind of scares you. He’s so calm while talking to you and makes you feel like your feelings are being validated. During the first half of your arguments you’re hotheaded and popping off but halfway through you’re sitting across the table all calm and collect, telling Joseph about how your beloved fish died in third grade and it made you so angry that you still lash out to this day (Hey, his charisma skills does things to people).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More Gun for hire Headcanons, scenarios or whatever you want Tim call them are coming up next babes I promise. Also, I’ve been trying to avoid using pronouns to let your own imaginations run wild.


	5. Jealousy (The Seed Brothers)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m going to be honest with you chief, I’m trying to write some Guns For Hire headcanons but I’m more educated on the Seeds, Dutch, Adelaide, Eli, and Sharky. I’m going to have to read up on their fandom wiki pages so I can provide y’all with accurate headcanons. Also I’m going to start writing Faith more even though I know most of you don’t like my baby, she deserves love too.

John: You probably get more jealous more than John. He’s a very attractive MILF, so the girlies love to stare at him. But you’re a fine ass person yourself so you get stared at by people from time to time. John swears it doesn’t bother when he sees people staring or hitting on you but he’s very bad at hiding his emotions, as we all know. He never says anything to the person checking you out or flirting with you. He just pulls you closer to him or gives you a kiss, his silent way of telling them that you’re his.

Jacob: Jacob’s first instinct isn’t to start being aggressive towards whoever is getting a little too touchy-feeling with his boo thing. He gives them a warning, but if they don’t back off that’s when he starts becoming aggressive. First it’s just words, a little bit of yelling, and more intimate public affection. Only in rare cases does he try to fight people over you. To get him to calm down, you have to remind him that you’re his and his only and how much you love him. 

Joseph: In order to be in a romantic relationship with Joseph, he has to trust you a hell of a lot. So when guys or girls come up to you trying to flirt he trusts you completely to turn them down and to walk away. He’ll glance over at you while someone’s trying to flirt with you and give you a quick nod like he’s sending some sort of signal at that moment to reject them. If it does get out of hand and the person doesn’t walk away quickly enough for his liking , then he’ll go over there and talk him away withhold smooth charisma skills.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love talking to people about FC5, their FC5 ocs, and shaping Headcanons with people so if you ever want to come talk to my lonely ass or request imagines or anything you can talk to me on tumblr! My username is holytrinitydeputies!


	6. First Time

Jacob: When the two of you first had sex it was really rough and fast opposed to the sensual and loving first times that people have with their partners. There was a lot of hair pulling, biting, and of course smacking. You left his home with a couple of sex bruises and very fucked up sex hair. You weren't a virgin so Jacob knew he could go as hard with you as he wanted. Although, you had a safe word if he went a little too hard for your liking.

Joseph: Your first time with Joseph is very sensual and special. It took place on the night of your wedding because his ass is THAT religious. You guys did it the traditional way and did it under the covers with the light off. He took everything very slow and made sure you were being as equally pleased as he was. He even went out of his way to make sure you were more pleased than he was. He treat you like the goddess/god you were by worshipping your body all night long. 

John: As we all know, John has had many sexual encounters in the past, so what makes you so different from the people he's slept with in the past? That question was the exact reason you avoided sex with him for so long. It wasn't  until he had made it evident to you that he was actually in love with you that you decided to go to third base with him. The whole time he was caressing your cheek and whisper sweet nothings into your ear. He had a slow and steady thrusting pace because he wanted to take his time enjoying and praising your body.


	7. How they show affection

John: John is more sensual and sexual than he is romantic. He shows you affection by gripping a piece of your ass as he walks by you or wrapping his arms around you from behind whenever you're cooking. Sometimes he does old school and gives you a kiss on the cheek before he leaves for work or a nice bear hug. 

Joseph: Joseph loves caressing you. He loves touching you and does it as much as he can. He usually does his infamous forehead touch with you or gives you long comforting hugs. He also likes to leave little sticky notes with small poems on them around the house for you to find. One time while you were getting ready in the morning you found one on the mirror and was a crying mess. 

Jacob: hmmmmm, Jacob would show affection by doing some of your hard, hands-on work for you. It's his way of saying thank you or I love you to you. Some days when he's in a really good mood, usually the day after you guys fuck, he wakes even earlier than he normally does and cooks a grand breakfast for you. Okay he might’ve bought everything from Ihop, but he was the one who put everything together for you nicely on one of those little trays. 

Faith: Faith is similar to Joseph in a way when it comes to showing affection. She loves stroking and holding your hands. She also enjoys messing with your hair and making flower crowns out of bliss flowers. She calls you cute little nicknames like honey and sweetie pie. And you absolutely love the nicknames.


	8. Eating you out (F!Deputy)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is very NSFW girlies! I don’t recommend reading this in public or anywhere where there’s people cause wheeeewwww Chile

Jacob: You sighed contently when you opened your eyes to see your boyfriend lying next to you still sleeping. He had today off and neither of you planned on doing anything. You were about to slip out of bed to make him breakfast when you felt his arm snake around your stomach and pull you flush against him, back to chest. He smirked when you pushed his morning wood against your lower back making you moan.  
‘Where do you think you’re going?’ He asked pressing his lips to the back of your neck.  
'I was just going to make breakfast so we could have breakfast in bed.’ You whispered.  
'Why leave me when I can have you for breakfast?’ He whispered kissing a path down your already naked body.  
He disappeared underneath the covers and spread your legs wide open. He places his large hands on your hips and pinned you down to the bed. He ran his tongue up and down your clit while you fisted your hands in the sheets and arched you back off the bed.  
'Fuck, Jacob.’You cried out.  
'Mmm.’ He moaned taking two of his fingers and slipping them inside your tight heat. 'So sweet and wet. Just how I like you. You like this baby?’  
'Oh god yes.’ You whispered beginning to pant.  
'Cum for me Y/n.’ He purred wrapping his lips around your clit. 'Let me taste your sweet cum.’  
With those words he began to nibble on your clit, while his fingers pumped in and out of you, pushing directly against your g-spot. You began to see stars as you rolled your eyes in the back of your head. Jacob knew you were about to cum so he added flicking of his tongue against your clit as he nibbled ever so slightly. Feeling everything he was doing all at once was all your body needed to let go. You arched your back off the bed, opened your mouth and let out an amazing moan. Your hands finally slipped under the covers and found their way into whateverthefuckhairstyle he had. Your whole body shook with pleasure as he worked you through your orgasm. When your body calmed down he crawled back up and out from under the covers with a smile on his face and his lips wet with your orgasm. He kissed you hard before pulling away and laying next to you. He wrapped his arms around you, pulled you close and said, 'I’m full now. How about we sleep more and then you can return the favor after yeah?’  
'I love that idea.’ You nodded closing your eyes counting down the minutes until you could pay him back.

John: As soon as you and John walked into the hotel room after a long night out with the rest of his siblings, he was all over you. Both of you had some alcohol in your system and he had been whispering dirty things in your ear all night. Stuff such as, 'I need to have my tongue buried inside your right heat’ and 'I want you to wrap you legs around my head as I pleasure you.’  
You couldn’t take it anymore so you excused both of you from the club and dragged him back to the hotel room. So now here you were wrapped in his arms and he was once again saying, 'You’re so sexy baby girl. I’m gonna bury my face in your sweet pussy just like I promised.’  
With those words he grabbed the hem of your dress and pulled it up and over your head, letting it fall to the floor. Once he had you naked, he walked you over to the bed and pushed you down on top of it. He pulled his t-shirt off leaving him in his black jeans. His brown eyes went almost black as an evil smile curved his lips. He pulled you close to him pulling your body up so he had you ass against his chest. You wrapped your legs around his head just like he wanted and he moaned loudly. Before anything else could be said, he began to lick you clit up and down at a fast pace. You cried out as you ran your hands over your tits squeezing them, pinching your nipples as you went.  
'Oh god, Johnny.’ You whimper as he began to suck on your clit.  
'Just like I wanted earlier.’ He purred making loud sucking noises driving you crazy.  
'So fucking close.’ You cried out biting your lower lip.  
'You wanna cum baby girl?’ He asked.  
'Please?’ You begged making him smile.  
'Cum for me baby.’ He whispered flicking his tongue up and down your clit while he sucked on the nub.  
You dug your heels of your in the back of his neck as you came hard. You screamed out his name only making him work his tongue harder, faster. When you finally calmed yourself he dipped his head lower and licked you from the inside out catching and collecting all of your cum on his tongue. When he was finished cleaning you up, he moaned before laying down on the bed next to you.  
'God I could eat your pussy everyday.’ He whispered kissing the side of your neck.  
'Nobody is stopping you.’ You purred running your hand up and down his chest.  
'You’re right.’ He smirked flipping you over so he was on top of you.

 

Joseph: You let out a small content sigh as you pulled off your jeans. You slipped off your bra as well leaving you in your panties an t-shirt. You climbed into the bed with Joseph. Once you were inside and as comfy as you could get, he climbed in and got under the covers. He wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you against his chest. He kissed your temple and smiled before saying, 'I love you princess.’  
'I love you too big daddy Joe.’ You smiled into his neck, laughing as he cringed at the nickname you gave him.

He smirked against your temple as he began to shower your face with kisses. You couldn’t help but giggle as he kissed your eyes, nose and ears. But your giggling subsided as his lips found their way down the side of your neck and right underneath your ear. Joseph was rarely horny, he usually ignored the feeling as best as he could. It was very bold of him to make a first move like this on you. You bit down on your lower lip as hard as you could trying not to moan knowing his siblings were in the house at the moment. Joseph could read you like a book and he knew you were trying not to moan. So he began to suck on your sweet spot and smiled against you skin when he heard you whimper.  
'Joe.’ You whispered running your hands up and down the muscles in his arms. 'We can’t. Your siblings will hear us.’  
'Shh.’ He whispered looking up at you. 'We will be at the church in two hours so no sex. But let me take care of you right now just like you took care of me earlier.’  
You couldn’t help but let out a small moan as you nodded your head yes. He smirked as he shimmered down your body as best he could. He pushed up your shirt exposing your breasts. He licked a circle around an around your nipple as you ran your hands through his hair. But as quickly as he started to lick your nipples he was making his way down your body lower. When he was resting between your legs, he pulled you panties down with his teeth, making sure to drag them across your inner thighs. When he had them off he pushed your legs open as far as he could without them fall out of the bunk. He held your thighs open digging his fingers into your skin as he began to lick your clit up and down. You whimpered as he licked your nub with long and slow strokes driving you insane. You wrapped your hands in his hair pulling on the ends as he picked up the pace.  
'Fuck Y/n.’ He moaned continuing to lick making loud sucking and licking noises. 'You taste so fucking good. I could eat your sweet pussy all night long.’  
'Oh my, Joe.’ You whimpered arching your back off the small bunk. 'Your tongue feel so good.’  
'Mmm.’ He moaned. 'I bet. You gonna cum for me baby?’  
'Mmm hmm.’ You nodded biting your lower lip.  
'I wanna hear you.’ He began. 'I want all the guys up front to hear you cum for me.’  
'Fuck.’ You whimpered at his words. 'Oh god, Joseph.’  
You let out a loud scream as your whole body began to shake. Joseph smirked against your pussy when you both heard the volume on the radio that his siblings were listening to get turned up.   
'That’s it baby.’ He whispered. 'Let them hear how good I make you feel.’  
You cried out his name loudly pushing his face further against your pussy. He wrapped his lips around your clit and sucked working your body through it’s orgasm. When your body finally began to slow and calm down Joseph continued to suck and lick up your cum moaning as he went. When he was done cleaning you up and you came down from your high, he crawled back up your body sliding your panties back up your legs. Once he was laying down next to you, he pulled you in his arms and you nuzzled against his chest. He kissed your temple.


	9. Sickness

Jacob: Jacob usually never let you do anything at all for him. If he could do it himself, then he was going to. So when he was bound to the couch for three days and begged you to help him with every little thing, you knew it was serious. Not serious in the sense that it was something like cancer, but serious in the sense “Oh my god my baby Jacob really is sick, he needs my help PRONTO.” Thankfully it was only a mild fever, you were able to nurse him back in a week with s bunch of warm soups, medicines, and a lot of love. 

Joseph: Joseph is always taking care of you and making sure you’re okay 24/7. It was weird for him to be taken care of by you when he fell ill because he was usually the one making sure you were okay. He made no resist to your help and gladly ate and did everything you told him to do. To his request, you read bible verses to him all day long about healing and helped him write out his next sermon while he rested in your bedroom. You had him back on his feet preaching energetically by the time Sunday had came around. 

John: You treat John like the spoiled little baby he is while he’s sick. Every request he has you fulfill it plus some more. Seeing your baby sick and weak breaks your heart so you do everything in your willpower to get him up and functioning as soon as possible. Because of how well you treat him while he’s sick, sometimes he likes to pretend to be sick to get that little bit of extra attention from you cause he’s an absolute attention whore. You know he’s faking sometimes, but you still go along with it anyways.


End file.
